prev # January 10, 2004 6:14 p.m. # next

I have an online diary, therefore I AM.

I Think: this is the perfect job for me at this point

I Know: I have so much yet to experience

I Want: a pet

I Have: everything I need. I am so lucky.

I Wish: I wasn't so hard on myself and others

I Hate: "President" Bush and his minions

I Miss: friends that I've lost touch with (or at least don't talk to as often as I'd like) - from college, and various folks I've met along the way

I Feel: loved

I Hear: NPR

I Smell: some powdered coffee drink my grandma sent me in a "care package"

I Crave: sweet sweet lovin

I Search: for my place; my "calling", if you will

I Wonder: where I'll be in 6 months

I Regret: hurting the ones I love the most

I Ache: when things go unresolved

I Am Not: lonely anymore

I Dance: in my room sometimes, but other than that I don't get to dance NEARLY enough - I need me some gay clubs!! I miss the days of frequent dancing...

I Sing: really well in my car. In other circumstances, I'm out of practice and a bit tentative.

I Cry: regularly, but less often (and generally less intensely) than I used to

I Do Not Always: trust my abilities

I Fight: my tendency to feel guilty about everything

I Write: less than I should

I Never: believe what I see on TV news

I Confuse: myself by never knowing what to believe

I Need: physical contact on a regular basis

I Listen: but I don't necessarily understand. I'm a good person to vent to, though.

I Can Usually Be Found: in the theater, rehearsal space, YMCA, or at my computer/reading/working on lines. Wow. I'm lame.

I Am Scared: of holding myself back

I Fear: this government BIG time

I Am Happy About: Jeremy's arrival in just over a week

I Expect: to be poor but happy this year

I Should: not have gone shopping at Victoria's Secret today (hey, it was the semi-annual sale! bras for $10!)

So yeah, I did some rare shopping today. Used my new credit card. Baaaaad idea. But I only went to one store (see aforementioned sale), and I definitely needed some new bras. New, sexy/pretty underthings give me such a thrill. I'm a sucker for em.

Um...I haven't been writing much lately, huh. There's plenty of updating I could do, I guess. Here are the basics.

The big news of the moment, for any that haven't heard (and after reading that survey-like thingy, you've probably figured it out), is that Jeremy's moving up here in about a week. This is what made me "disgustingly happy" last week, and that hasn't really gone away yet. I'm anxious for him to be here - this week's been a light load time-wise, so I've had a lot of hours to kill, just waiting. Obviously I find things to do (much to read, lines to learn - and I really should be practicing guitar & preparing for NETC auditions - yikes! just remembered that), but I'm often distracted. He'll be staying with me for a couple weeks, and then moving into his place: subletting from a former ensemble member and friend, Tom.

I've been to the Y every day this week (except yesterday), so I'm feelin ripped. Had to work off all that southern food (ie BUTTER and lots of biscuits) I ate over New Year's when I visited J down in North Carolina.

Got a rough "demo CD" in the mail from my dad the other day, all stuff I recorded including MY new song. The CD's still a work in progress, but I'm proud of what I've done and can't wait to finalize that project.

Rehearsal went well today, after my crappy day on Thursday. I'm picking up on what the director's pushing me toward - it'll just take some practice. But at least I understand, and he seems to think I'm making good progress. How silly I am, and how quickly my feelings change when I'm at this stage of rehearsals. The show, by the way, is Red Herring. It's hysterical, and I'm just hoping I can do it justice. I play Joseph McCarthy's daughter, a nice Midwestern girl with a twist. This is the show I'm trying to get everyone to see - the folks and Ginger haven't seen me do anything at BTE yet, and I'm hoping they'll all make it. Shelby too, provided I haven't thoroughly pissed her off again. And of course, Jeremy. Anybody else wanna come??

back in the day # onward and upward